I have been thinking about things a lot lately and a conversation today really brought it into focus. I decided to write this blog and post it so that I can go back and read it and remind myself when I forget. This post is very personal and frank. I do not generally partake in over-sharing so please bear with me.
I gave up drawing years ago and focused on being an adult. This is how I was raised. I would sketch here and there but I got worse as time went and it got to the point where I stopped all together. Then, a few years ago, I decided to refocus on art and that part of myself. From that point on, I have been working on making art part of my life again. It has been a long process and I have had to push myself to share my work good or bad. I work, I take classes, and I stay up late tinkering with ideas, customs, and other interests.
As time has passed I have found it frustrating and somewhat disheartening that some fail to see the value in what I do. When I talk about my work and my art a glazed look is not far off. I have learned that their ideas of success and failure are much different from my own. They do not understand me or my desire to create. And I guess to certain extent I don't understand them either.
Truthfully, I may never be successful, personally or professionally. I may always struggle with meeting new people and I may never have much of a career as a Graphic Designer. (Lord knows I have taken the very long road). But I will continue to work and draw until I wake up and find that I don't want to do it anymore.
I just want to know that I tried. That I worked hard and did all that I could. I think about this everyday. Caution has been so deeply ingrained in me that I find it hard to try new things. With every step I take, I often take two steps back. I, like my artwork, am a work in progress. I'm not afraid of failure. But the idea of never trying scares the crap of me.